Friday, June 16, 2023

loneliness

In the pursuit of purpose, meaning, and fulfillment, I am left to be lonely. 

It feels like a starless night where I am the moon: shining but by myself, rising but all alone. It feels very empty inside, as if a knock on my body will reveal the hollowness inside. Life feels unreal, in the sense that I am watching it from outside, watching myself do the things I should love to do. I fall asleep almost every night feeling like I am returning back to my life and experiencing the identity of a nobody. 

I am confused, I am doing what I think I want to do, yet I feel so detached from my life, my love, my happiness, everything. 

I feel stuck on the other side of a glass wall, away from that what is disingenuine but I look around and see nothing but myself. And that should be okay, I love myself, but the sense of longingness is what paints my skies dark grey and rainy.