stars

 The sky was a midnight blue, tinged with purple streaks of faded clouds. And as we sat there looking at it, indifferent to the cold wiring through our nerves, we saw our breaths expel towards the sky and melt into the clouds.

10/12/20

I woke up one hour late on Friday. I was supposed to board the bus but I was asleep. I did some research and found out that I slept soundly because I was extremely happy the night before. And why was that?

I found someone I thought I had lost. I was swimming in a lavish pool of felicity. I felt this was one of the things done right by me in 2020. 

It was never in my heart to hurt the people whom I loved and who loved me. But I did. And I realised it later than I should have. I was blinded by my own pain. I had thought I was the only one who was hurt. And it was only when I lost them did I realise how I had messed up, partly. The guilt ate away at my heart. I was not so much guilty about hurting them as much as I was about not being able to tell them how sorry I was. And this was something I thought I'd never get to do. 

That is, until they contacted me-- after a year-- and I finally found the opportunity to apologise. I bared my heart to them, every single thing I had kept concealed. The words flowed out of my mouth like a perennial river. I could feel the remorse and guilt slowly rising out and away from my chest. I felt relaxed and happy. As their voice started filling up my brain like snowflakes on the onset of winter, the memories that I had kept hidden for so long started unravelling. Their laugh made me remember the poems I wrote. I could hear them smiling. I could feel a wave of serotonin inching towards me gracefully and engulfing me in its thick blanket. 

That night, I slept like a baby. And even a few days later, today, I find it hard to believe that something which was impossible in my mind actually happened.