As I sit in my UGFN1000 tutorial, silently typing away, thinking about you, about us, our future, about what you said about trust, the wind slithers in from under the door and I say to it "Take me with you".
I cannot focus in class anyway, I am thinking about how continually I break down and rebuild myself. And I wonder if we will truly bind the way you said we would.
It is hard for me to trust, as it is for anyone, but I have been opening up my heart to you. I wish you feel the same way, but I will not ask you to feel pressured into doing so. If your dreams tell you to be wary, then be wary. If your heart tells you one thing and your brain tells you another, then think with your brain and feel with your heart. Love me, love me cautiously if you will.
After the chaos of our days, I find myself drawn to feeling grounded with you. After everything the day has had to offer, I need my alone time. Alone time with you. And I would need it day after day after day.
I want to watch the sunrise with you right next to me, and I want us to walk in the wind at midnight. I want to experience everything with you.
You make me a better person.
Sometimes I feel like I am the sunlight that paints my wall golden in the morning, I am the strange silver feather under my bed, I am the crunchy leaf scraping the ground in symphony with the wind, I am the flaccid pink flower that has a weird cylindrical shlong, I am the rain that comes in from your window, I am the carpet in front of my door, but when I am with you, I am simply, quite simply, just me.
I am fearful of admitting this, but maybe I do truly love you.