a note that feels incomplete

If I had to name this, I wouldn't say it was sadness, this thing that comes knocking at my door. It felt like grief at first, for a life that could've been happier, or for the life that I once had. It's not as if that life was not riddled with sadness either, but after 2019, it just felt like my roots were uprooted. What is a person with no roots? Only a living thing. Only surviving matter.