the friend you used to love, she is still here

Rarely do I shine a torch on my guilt.

I feel sorry for not having tried harder. 

Sometimes I wonder how much we drifted apart,

how close we were until I slowly broke your heart.

Alas, I did not realize it then. You forgave me many times. 

Brutal it is when I text you now

"How are you? How's family?" and hear nothing back. 

I want you to know and believe

that you were heard and seen, 

maybe not then, but certainly right now.

I am sorry for having been a stupid cow. 

If I could turn the hands of time, 

I would change the lines and make us rhyme. 

But all I have now is this poem on my blog, 

not a conversation with two, just a monologue. 

You used to come here when we were friends, 

I hope you come again and know that I want to amend. 

True friends are hard to find, 

and I have been blind. 

I am sorry that I took you for granted in the past, 

I was selfish and assumed our friendship would just last. 

I want you to know this fact, and hold it dear:

The friend you used to love, she is still here.