you end up crying to sleep, mission complete

 You wake up at the crack of dawn, you study, 

you do your homework, you sleep on time, 

you meet your friends for lunch yet

nobody knows what's on your mind. 

There is something seriously messed up about you

because you dream about your ex at night. 

In class, you're thinking of setting your body ablaze,

storms arise, but you still sit by the window

until the window threatens to shatter on your dace. 

Abstract thoughts, you can never make sense of yourself. 

Why am I thinking of someone who doesn't think of me?

You end up crying to sleep,

mission complete.

My 18th Birthday Was Yesterday

 One more year has passed by. I'm 18 years old now. I am extremely grateful for the wonderful family and friends that I have. 

My family is the sweetest. I told them I did not want any extravagant gifts and I wanted it to be chill. They listened (to a great extent). My brother made such a cute card for me, so did my sister, and they bought a delicious cake. My brother even bought a box of Ferrero Rocher for me which I am resisting to gobble down as we speak (8:58 am). 

The rest of the day went by with restaurants, my first alcoholic drink (Monte Blanc), and my first dress, haha. 

While I had fallen asleep crying, missing my father, I was woken up with messages by my amazing friends which instantly put a smile on my face. 

Grief, it stays with you, but it gets easier to live with. I have to learn to value those around me instead of only grieving what I have lost. 

I am cared for and loved, and that is enough.