my bloody valentine

You were my rose,

I held you too tightly. 

And then, my fingers tightened their grip

too close.

Made my hand bleed, the thorns. 

Scratched my hand; the long, sharp vine. 

You will always be my bloody valentine. 

You were my balloon, 

I never let you go.

Filled with poisonous gas, you popped.

And then, I couldn't breathe no more. 

You could never be mine.

You will always be my bloody valentine. 

You were my heart,

and I never let you go frantic.

Secured you close,

held you tight

when your vibration rose. 

And then, my heart broke. 

You will always be my bloody valentine. 

-Nalini

they love you for being me

Don't be that way.
You're an epigone,
I'm the mirror. 
What you currently say,
is what I've said long ago on the phone. 
You copy me, 
copy friend, stay away. 
Or the personal police,
I'll be sending your way.
You're just a clone.
You're my clone.
You are fake, not original. 
You can be a person, but it's conditional. 
However, I am authentic.
Where's your permit?
I never said yes to copy me,
you know people love you,
but they actually see me. 

-Nalini

Are you still in love?

we're different,
apart from accompanying each other,
we have nothing in common.
I'd hate to bother,
about this but we do have some fun...

We're broken at the same places,
watching our friends reunite with people we besotted. 
We see them hand in hand,
laughing at something we have no clue about.
It makes us awkward when they talk to each other 
in front of us, in and out. 
We see them and realise they are flawless,
we see ourselves and see imperfections everywhere. 
Our lives are such a mess,
meanwhile...they look at each other in love and care. 

It bothers me so much,
even though I'm not in throes of love anymore.
Are you, my partner? 
Is your love-deprived scar still sore?

-Nalini

i hate her

I am broken.
She walked out on me?
Again.
I should have been more prudent.
Why did I have to trust her crushed smile?
Why did I have to fall for her?
I couldn't bear her being with someone else,
because I thought I loved her more than anyone else.
Did I love her?
I loved her good parts...
I loved her senseless jokes,
and her smokeless farts.
But I hated her occasional negativity.
And I hated her realness.

I hated her flaws,
there were too many of them.
Anyways, she left me now.
And according to the "love laws".
I won't give a f*ck about her!

-Nalini

To be or not to be?

"She's always happy",
they chant.
Can't see through the mask,
she feels crappy.
She laughs with you from morning to night,
making you unaware of her plight.
She can't feel the happiness she shows,
she can't change dramatically, she knows.
She needs  to be there for her sad friend.
She needs to be there for her crying sister.
She needs to be able to send
something more than just a whisper.
She needs to be that pillar of strength,
her voice needs to be louder,
she has to increase the wavelength.

She has to be who she is expected to be,
she has to be who everyone wants to see.

-Nalini

RIP, good deeds

I am unhappy. 

I feel discontent with who I have become, 

and what all I see. 

Surrounded by random people,

but they all turn sanctimonious 

when they learn about my malevolence. 

They tell me they love me, 

but do they know me?

How can they love me when I don't even know me. 

I look in the mirror, 

and see 50 shades of myself. 

Which one am I?

I let the mirror engulf. 

The limelight is on my wrong deeds,

they outshine the exemplary.

After all the pressure,

all the good is lost in a flurry. 

-Nalini

Shoot the Bird

A new bird,
I now fly higher.
Feel as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm a fast flier, 
I can carry heavy boulders;
and soar the entire world. 

I welcome epiphanies,
they expose me to new people,
and teach me how to craft myself better. 
I'm like money,
you want me to use me, isn't subtle. 
Please be kinder. 

I wonder how you would react to my loss, 
you seem to carry on through life without a pause. 

Looks like I wasn't worthy, which is why you didn't preserve,
but sweetie, I already know what I deserve :)

-Nalini