Thursday, July 6, 2023

acrylic paints and charcoal shades

Beautiful bright day. 
Daffodils and lilies. 
Light blue pond. 
A dead swan. 

Spicy flavorful food. 
Sweet and sour fruits.
A summer fest.
Emptiness. 

Soft pillows. 
Bouncy beds. 
Apparent cape. 
Please escape. 

Acrylic paints.
Charcoal shades.
Choke on tears.
Pain. 

Friday, June 16, 2023

loneliness

In the pursuit of purpose, meaning, and fulfillment, I am left to be lonely. 

It feels like a starless night where I am the moon: shining but by myself, rising but all alone. It feels very empty inside, as if a knock on my body will reveal the hollowness inside. Life feels unreal, in the sense that I am watching it from outside, watching myself do the things I should love to do. I fall asleep almost every night feeling like I am returning back to my life and experiencing the identity of a nobody. 

I am confused, I am doing what I think I want to do, yet I feel so detached from my life, my love, my happiness, everything. 

I feel stuck on the other side of a glass wall, away from that what is disingenuine but I look around and see nothing but myself. And that should be okay, I love myself, but the sense of longingness is what paints my skies dark grey and rainy.